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  • Writer's pictureVictoria Quinn

"Challenging myself is my comfort zone. Comfortable with changing."

Rose-Colored Lenses (a Self-Reflection Series)


It's kind of fun being spooky.


The rush of chills along my spine usually triggers a warning to be on guard, but this chill felt thrilling. Almost like I was on the other side of the energy now. It reminded me of being tased in the military. Other than now - the present moment, I've never felt more alive than seconds after being tased. I need to develop a good relationship with cold baths.


I'm in a sweet and simple cafe with a delicious hibiscus and gooseberry smoothie, and am now having a pineapple and spearmint one. I bought a few jugs of water today to get ready for my next fast. This one's going to be wild. Super productive, the way I like myself.


"Wild Child" by Josie and the Pussycats playing on my headset. I've been having recollections lately related to my teen years and high school. I bought a book called Julia, Cuando los muertos hablan by Carlos Gutierrez. A girl with a Stitch shirt walked by. She walked the other way.


I think people who begin to level upward in consciousness experience self-mastery trials of loneliness. The more that we can see through and understand energies, the more inclined we feel to share what we know. Can you see this? Or get frustrated at people who can see what we see, and yet use the broken system for their greedy, instant satisfaction - knowingly manipulating people, and knowingly deceiving people. Can you see yourself? Can you see that you're deceiving yourself?


Sometimes we can forget who we are. It raises questions for me. What do we choose to be blind to? Do we turn a blind eye to ourselves? What might we be afraid to admit?


At this moment, I'm coming to accept that I have tolerated a certain way of living within my environment which I actually don't prefer. Time to polish our core principles. I plan on my own time. I'm not on anyone's time, to include mine. Kairos.


People who fear me, fear themselves. People who love me, love themselves. Who do we fear and love?


Sometimes we fear because we feel intimidated by how much we are capable of experiencing and how deep the awareness can go. I'm so used to the shadows that I've gotten too comfortable living in them. Out of the comfort zone, which is my comfort zone. Challenging myself is my comfort zone. Comfortable with changing.


Death seems constantly on my ass, writing memos.


Channeling my teenage self today. Matcha latte. 2:29pm.


Meeting up with a friend. 5:47pm.

 

Behind rose-colored lenses are the secrets of our subconsciousness.


I have created this series of self-reflection writings, 'Rose-Colored Lenses', to show how challenging it can be to make inner peace a daily discipline. Our external reality can sometimes be overwhelmingly polarizing. Also, my middle name is Rose, and I wanted to make it punny.


I think that we do ourselves a disservice when we pretend that everything works out for us all the time. Why do we choose to hide our vulnerability, which is beautiful?


Vulnerability is one of my greatest weaknesses. Paradoxically, courage is one of my greatest strengths.


Personally, I am embarking on this series to test, and "check", myself - which I have a habit of doing anyway. I tend to dive head-first into uncomfortable situations, and quite often. But then I get to reap the reward of wisdom from a learned experience.


I hope that my vulnerability helps anyone who may benefit from it.


Authenticity is liberating!

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