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  • Writer's pictureVictoria Quinn

"Anxiety has been controlling most of my thoughts and actions."

Rose-Colored Lenses (a Self-Reflection Series)


It feels good to have a secret journal. I think what I’ll do from now on is take excerpts from my private journal and post online instead of writing directly online, labeling private journel omissions as "[Private]". [Private]


I changed the crystal bowl healing music to my 432 playlist. The first song that came up was “Giving Up on That” by Dalton Dover. [Private]


an obsessive nostalgia. It doesn’t matter. What matters right now is the present moment. [Private]


I rolled my fingers on my chin for a bit and then continued typing. Oh, that’s it. They’re busy here, I look busy right now. But what if my business is my life? And what if this is my selfless service? I feel busy, but what if it’s all on my time because I have my whole life to do this? That’s the separation in time. [Private]


Key words. I don’t need to explain things. [Private]


Guess that? Maybe I’m fucking angry at the entire fucking system. Interesting. Every time I have a fear, I can look right at the light aspect of the feeling as to not blame myself for feeling a feeling. The other person reciprocates the dark or light energy of that. [Private]


This diary carries a lot of trauma. The journal is lighter. No need for too much explaining. As I got nervous, a bird made a sound along with my energy. [Private]


Anxiety has been controlling most of my thoughts and actions. I heard a nervous laugh. Joy, anxiety, disgust, fear, anger, sadness, envy, ennui, embarrassment, nostalgia. This is the influence of the system, not the people themselves. Let’s not be fighting each other. If you feel nervous, you can make nervousness playful. [Private]


And now I’m in spiritual battle in public, where we learn quickly about energies. Battling ourselves for peace. Making peace with everything. That’s me fantasizing I’m the person who is able to clear out unhealthy energies. I feel like I entered a different world. [Private]


Keep this balance of peace going. I started stretching parts of my body to release the tension. [Private]


They have real situations going on. I’m being called to hear them. I don’t allow myself to distract. [Private]


Let the truthful people persevere and inspire. I give our burden to the hands of God to deal with, knowing that it will work out in our good favor, the good parts of me within me. The good versions of me. My true, blood soul relatives.

 

 

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